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Archive for the 'Funny jokes' Category
These are some hilarious jokes pictures though I seriously don’t understand the difference between hilarious and funny!
This guy goes into a doctors and says “Doctor, doctor you’ve gotta help me. I just can’t stop having sex!” “Well how often do you have it?” the doctor asks. “Well, twice a day I have sex with my wife, TWICE a day”, he answers back. “That’s not so much”, says the doctor. “Yes, but [...]
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though a whale is a very large mammal, its throat is very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. The teacher reiterated that a [...]
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie. The genie grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home — and poof!, he is back home. The second guy wishes the same thing — and poof!, he is gone too. The [...]
A man buys a lie detector robot which slaps people who lie. He decides 2 test it at dinner.DAD: Son, where were you today during school hours? SON: at School. Robot slaps son! Ok, I lied, I went to the movies. DAD: Which one?SON: Toy Story. Robot slaps son again! Ok, it was a day [...]
A man and his wife went to bed one night and the man was getting very frisky and asked his wife if she was in the mood. His wife answered, “Not tonight dear I have a headache.” The man replied, “Is that your final answer”? She said, “Yes.” …He said. “Ok, then, I’d like to phone a [...]
Right in the middle of lovemaking, the husband dies of a heart attack. As the funeral arrangements are being made, the mortician informs the widow that he cannot get rid of her dead husband’s rigor mortis hard-on which is sticking straight up in the air and if they don’t do something, it will look odd [...]
One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was very attracted to him and, during her questions about his life, she asked him how he managed for sex. “What’s that?” he asked. She explained to him what sex was, and he said, “Oh,Tarzan use hole in trunk of tree.” Horrified, she said, “Tarzan you [...]
A high school English teacher reminds her class of tomorrow’s final exam. “Now class, I won’t tolerate any excuses for you not being there tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury or illness, or a death in your immediate family – but that’s it, no other excuses whatsoever!” A smart-ass [...]