Two lawyers are in a bank, when, suddenly, armed robbers burst in, waving guns and yelling for everyone to freeze. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the lawyers, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, and other valuables. While this is [...]
Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions and a few trillion dollars in bailouts for some corporations, the Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off. We apologize for the inconvenience.
Your favorite breakfast meat is sliced fried bologna. You buy green chili the bushel and red chili by the gallon You have a bottle of Holy Dirt in your night stand drawer. Your favorite expression for any emotion is…OSI! A sign of good relationship is having hickies! You are still using the paper license tag [...]
Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with their feet in the air. There are 5,000 types of snakes on earth and 4,998 live in Texas. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas plus a couple no one’s seen before. If it grows, it sticks; if it crawls, it bites. [...]
Indian Chief ‘Two Eagles’ was asked by a white government official, “You have observed the white man for 90 years. You’ve seen his wars and his technological advances. You’ve seen his progress, and the damage he’s done.” The Chief nodded in agreement. The official continued, “Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the [...]
I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the Marine Corps beats working for old man Larson by a mile. Tell them to join up quick before all of the places are filled. I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly 6 a.m. but I [...]
An ugly fat woman, a gorgeous young hot blonde, an American man and a Canadian man are all riding together in a train car. As the train passes through a tunnel, the distinctive sound of a loud slap is heard. When they emerge from the tunnel, a bright red handprint is on the face of [...]
“The Five Commercials Aired During The Lewinsky/Walters Interview” (and yes, these really did air during the interview) 5. Victoria’s Secret lingerie. 4. Burger King – featuring the song “It’s My Party, and I’ll Cry if I Want To.” 3. Oral-B Deluxe. 2. A promo for the TV movie “Cleopatra,” with the following voice-over: “When she [...]
A group of Americans was touring Ireland. One of the women in the group was a real curmudgeon, constantly complaining. The bus seats are uncomfortable. The food is terrible. It’s too hot. It’s too cold. The accommodations are awful. The group arrived at the site of the famous Blarney Stone. “Good luck will be followin’ [...]
A squad of American soldiers was patrolling along the Iraqi border. To their surprise, they found the badly mangled dead body of an Iraqi soldier in a ditch along the road. A short distance up the road, they found a badly mangled American soldier in a ditch on the other side of the road, who [...]
