A new employee calls the Help desk to complain that there’s something wrong with her password. No, it’s not the usual caps-lock problem. “The problem is that whenever I type the password, it just shows stars,” she says. “Those asterisks are to protect you,” the Help Desk technician explains, “so if someone were standing behind [...]
A tech support employee once received a call from a disgruntled lady who had purchase one of their PCs. “The cup holder on my computer broke! I just got some coffee and put it in the cup holder and then it broke, and the coffee spilled all over me! I want a replacement!” The employee [...]
One day Bill Gates died and went to heaven. When he got there he met God. God said “Where do you want to go Heaven or Hell?” Bill Gates said, “Can I have a look at them first?” So God showed him Heaven and there were all people in white drinking wine a playing harps [...]
In Heaven: The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The lovers are Italian, The bankers are Swiss. In Hell: The cooks are English, The policemen are German, The mechanics are French, The lovers are Swiss, The bankers are Italian. In Computer Heaven: The management is from Intel, The design and [...]
My kids love going to the Web, and they keep track of their passwords by writing them on Post-it notes. I noticed their Disney password was “MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto,” and asked why it was so long. “Because,” my son explained, “they say it has to have at least four characters.”
How to clean your mouse… This memo is from an unnamed computer company. It went to all field engineers about a computer peripheral problem. The author of this memo was quite serious. The engineers rolled on the floor. Mouse balls are now available as FRU (Field Replacement Unit) therefore, if a mouse fails to operate [...]
HELPLINE: “General Motors Helpline, how can I help you?” CUSTOMER: “My car ran fine for a week, and now it won’t go anywhere!” HELPLINE: “Is the gas tank empty?” CUSTOMER: “Huh? How do I know?” HELPLINE: “There’s a little guage on the front panel, with a needle, and markings from ‘E’ to ‘F.’ Where is [...]
A man was crossing a rosd one day when a frog called out to him and said, “if you kiss me I will turn into a beautiful princess.” He bent over , picked up the frog, and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, “If you kiss me and turn [...]
While shopping for my first CD player, I was able to decipher most of the technicalese on the promotional signs. One designation had me puzzled, though, so I called over a salesperson and asked, “What does ‘hybrid pulse D/A converter’ mean?” “That means”, he said, “that this machine will read the digital information that is [...]
There are three engineers in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer and a Microsoft engineer. Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road, and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong. The electrical engineer suggests stripping down the electronics of the car and trying to [...]
