One night I was going to cook pork chops for dinner and wanted to try out a new reciepe. I looked in one of my cookbooks and found one for pork chops and rice. The recipe called for one 16oz can of stewed tomatoes, but I didn’t have any stewed tomatoes. I did have two [...]
Did you hear about the baker who pushed his wife into the cake mix? She claimed she was a battered woman! From “Pun Enchanted Evenings: 746 Original Word Plays” by David R. Yale. bestpuns.com.
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted. “No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.” The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, “Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn’t be [...]
This little grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning, He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee she had ever had. When she got to the bottom of the cup there were three greem army men in the bottom of the cup. She said, [...]
Why did the boy eat his homework? Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
So, this guy walks into his doctor’s office. He’s got a carrot in one nostril, an asparagus stalk in the other, a zucchini in one ear, a green onion in the other ear and a bananna sticking out of his bottom. He says, “Doc, I’m not feeling too good these days!” The doctor looks up [...]
Johnny: Daddy, are caterpillars good to eat? Father: Have I not told you never to mention such things during meals! Mother: Why did you say that, Junior? Why did you ask the question? Johnny: It’s because I saw one on daddy’s lettuce, but now it’s gone.
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order. There was a big sign posted that read, “No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.” The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign remarked, “Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than 20 dollars [...]
A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz. The bartender says, “What’s wrong with Schlitz, don’t you like it? The man says, “I hate that shit”. Last night I drank a whole case of Schlitz and blew chunks. The bartender says, “You drink a [...]
