A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a case of beer, any kind except Schlitz. The bartender says, “What’s wrong with Schlitz, don’t you like it? The man says, “I hate that shit”. Last night I drank a whole case of Schlitz and blew chunks. The bartender says, “You drink a [...]
Husband asks: Do u know the meaning of wife? ‘Without Infomation Fighting Everytime’. Wife on hearing replies, It also means ‘With Idiot For Ever’.
Director to an aspiring actress: Were you ever cast before? Aspiring Actress: Yes, last year I fell down and had my left leg in a cast.
A fat man wanted to see how much he weighs and stepped on the electronic weighing machine. The machine printed: One at a time please!
If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean. There is no vaccine against stupidity. I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you! I’d like to leave you with one thought, but I’m not sure you have anywhere to put it! I’d love to go out with you, [...]
Keep talking, someday you’ll say something intelligent. I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo. I’ll never forget the first time we met – although I’ll keep trying. Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to [...]
I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you’ve never used it. I bet your mother has a loud bark! I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit? I don’t consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat. I don’t [...]
Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental! Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn’t have given you worse advice. Are your parents siblings? As an outsider, what do you think of the human race? Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner. Calling you stupid would be [...]
I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you’ve never used it. I bet your mother has a loud bark! I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit? I don’t consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat. I don’t [...]
