This lady approaches a priest and tells him, “Father, I have a problem. I have these two talking female parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.” “They only know how to say, ‘Hi, we’re prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?’” “That’s terrible!” the priest exclaimed, “but I have a solution [...]
I am God. Today I will be handling all of your problems. Please remember that I do not need your help. If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it. Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. It will be [...]
A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to GOD USA, they decided to send it to President Bush. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed [...]
Bill Gates suddenly dies and finds himself face to face with God. God stood over Bill Gates and said, “Well Bill, I’m really confused on this one. It’s a tough decision; I’m not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you helped society enormously by putting a computer in almost every [...]
Moses, Jesus and another guy were out playing golf one day. Moses pulled up to the tee and drove a long one. It landed in the fairway but rolled directly toward a water trap. Quickly Moses raised his club, the water parted and it rolled to the other side, safe and sound. Next, Jesus strolled [...]
A minister, a priest and a rabbi went for a hike one day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water. Feeling refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries [...]
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God: “Lord, I have a problem.” “What’s the problem, Eve?” “Lord, you’ve created me and provided this beautiful spot, these wonderful animals, and that comedic snake, but I’m just not happy.” “Why is that, Eve?” came the voice from above. “Lord, I am lonely. [...]
This 85-year-old couple, having been married almost 60 years, died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last 10 years, mainly due to her interest in health food and exercise. When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, [...]
In Heaven: The cooks are French, The policemen are English, The mechanics are German, The lovers are Italian, The bankers are Swiss. In Hell: The cooks are English, The policemen are German, The mechanics are French, The lovers are Swiss, The bankers are Italian. In Computer Heaven: The management is from Intel, The design and [...]
Whenever your children are out of control, you can take comfort from the thought that even God’s omnipotence did not extend to His own children. After creating heaven and earth, God created Adam and Eve. The first thing he said was, “Don’t.” “Don’t what?” Adam replied. “Don’t eat the forbidden fruit,” God said. “Forbidden fruit? [...]
